Migraines and Sex: Part 2-Natural Remedies...Orgasms

Let's explore the paradox of sex triggering migraines and orgasms relieving them. I've experienced both. I have never been one of those women who refused sex using the excuse that "I have a headache." Come to think of it, I can't recall ever refusing sex period. Don't go calling Sexaholics Anonymous just yet. I'm not an addict! I just know that um...it makes my head feel better. That juicy fact was discovered by accident only because I wasn't willing to stop just because my head felt like it was going to explode. In order for me to demand "coitus interruptus" the headache would have to be worse than the sex was good. That's never happened.

I'll have you know that I'm not alone and therefore not a freak, not certifiably anyway. In a study at the Headache Clinic at Southern Illinois University almost half of the women surveyed got complete relief from a migraine after the "Big O". Isn't it amazing how pain can be tempered by pleasurable distractions AKA a flood of endorphins? The more I learn, the more I like this treatment, especially when compared to pharmaceuticals. I can only see 2 side effects, being a bit high and drowsy. No problem since I'm not in the habit of driving a car or operating dangerous machinery immediately after "knocking boots".

Now that I'm armed with this study and my own personal experiments, during my next appointment I am demanding that my neurologist write me a prescription for the Kama Sutra. I can see me now trying to explain to Blue Cross and Blue Shield why that's medically necessary. So, if participating in the glorious union of 2 writhing bodies makes your head throb, just remember, keep your eye on the prize. Take it from me, chances are your head won't go boom, but if it does...what a way to go!

Migraines and Sex...

Although there are specific things that can "cause" a migraine attack, the doctors call them triggers not causes. I've been racking my brain trying to distinguish the difference; sure hope "brain racking" isn't a trigger. I'll let you know when I figure that one out. There are many possible triggers from food to TMJ to sex. You read that right...sex. Oh, yeah, I’m here to address that theory, just humor me for a minute on the topic of triggers. Migraines are usually caused by more than one trigger. They build up and when they pass a person’s individual threshold. Bingo…migraine!

Now, let me get this straight, I know I have TMJ, there’s one trigger, so add some food like bananas, which I absolutely love, ooh...covered in chocolate (you got it, another trigger food), then a marathon romp in the hay and I have a migraine? See, the problem with me is my two favorite things in the world, food and sex (not in that order) could cause, whoops, “trigger” these attacks. So, I can give them up and become a nun fasting for world peace or I live with them and remain a fat, unemployed sex fiend. Decisions, decisions! Sex...chastity? Gluttony...starvation? Is it me, or do those choices appear to have some sort of biblical implications…like whether I end up in heaven or hell? I'm telling you right now, if there's no sex in heaven, I'm not going! Yes, I'm sulking and my arms are crossed in defiance. You see, sex is my little slice of paradise right here. And as far as hell goes, migraines are just that...HELL!

PS There's also a theory that orgasm can alleviate a migraine, stay tuned for that topic!

When is Enough, Enough?

I really should’ve really been journaling these nightmares since the beginning…speaking of the word “should”, it shouldn’t be a word but then I wouldn’t be able to say it shouldn’t be a word, would I? When I use "should" it’s either referring to something in the future as in "I should (or should not)" or past as in "I should have (or shouldn't have)" and I'm trying to stay in the moment. But I digress...digress?! Where does this shit come from? I can't blame it on the drugs, they haven't had time to take effect yet. Are these the random thoughts in my head?

Meds, drugs…a plastic shopping bag full of them which would probably fetch me a few hundred bucks on the street, what’s Dilaudid going for these days? Forget it, the only way you'll get it out of my hands is to pry it from my cold dead fingers. It's too important in the arsenal that gives me respite from this enemy.

This one is pretty bad, feels like somebody parked their car on my head, the left front wheel to be exact…without a tire, yep, just the rim, the edge of it pressing right into the left side of my skull behind by ear. And today, when I don’t have to “tough it out” I still waited too long and now the meds are taking longer to kick in.

There is such a thing as having too many choices, especially when my brain is screaming at me to lay down and my eyes are yelling at me to turn off the damn lights. Wait...it's my ears that are the loudest, "EVERYBODY, EVERYTHING, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!" In this state I'm supposed to decide between Dilaudid, Phenergan, Benedryl, Naproxen and Neurontin (oh there are even more, but I’ve already taken my max of them today) or a combination of 2 of them, and then figure out how much of each to take. Let's see, do I take it all now or take half now then wait an hour and see if I need the rest. But by then I may need 2 more. Just give me ONE damn axe and let me chop my head off. They “should” have to administer a test of mental stability and IQ prior to dispensing so much shit to one person.

I Discovered...

I lost my physical health and discovered my inner strength,
I lost my money and discovered my time,
I lost my job and discovered my purpose,
I lost my acquaintances and discovered my friends,
I lost my hope and discovered my faith
I lost my patience and discovered my compassion
I lost my ego and discovered my soul,
I lost my perception and discovered my love
I lost my story and discovered my truth,
I lost my mind and discovered my heart,
I lost my assiduity and discovered my serenity
I lost my way and discovered my new path,
I lost my identity and discovered myself,
I lost who I was and discovered who I am destined to be.

Dear God...Thank You?

Dear God,
Just a short note to say thanks for the migraines. What a surprise and just when I needed it most. But then you have a reputation for incredible timing, don't you? I knew there was a caveat to prayer. It's just that I thought it was "Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it." I know, I know...it's actually "Ask and it shall be given".

See, here's the thing, I usually don't recognize "it" when it's delivered, thereby tripping over it, cursing it's presence along my path. Was I expecting the heavens to open releasing angels heralding it's arrival? Don't I know you better by now? Obviously not. Ahh, but you know me. So, now that you have my undivided attention, what is it you would like me to do with these gifts I've recieved all wrapped up in migraines?

Love,
Vanessa

Get Up?

Today I didn’t feel good at all. I woke up this morning with a hangover from neurontin. God, I don’t know how people can drink and be hung over every day. I dragged my tired sleepy ass out of bed and forced myself to GET UP and get moving when really all I wanted to do was sleep. I wanted to lay my head down, my eyes were still closed, breathe a deep sigh and sink back into the wonderland I know as slumber, sleeping, resting, no pain. But I got up, no pain in my head as I got up but as the day wore on and as I got to moving around, it slowly crept back. I got up about 10:30 and by 2:30 I thought there were knives stuck in the back of my head.

I never know ahead of time which is going to be better for me...staying in bed or forcing myself to get up. Today I feel like getting up made things worse. On the days when I stay in bed or in my favorite chair I wonder if I would have felt better getting up. It's a crap shoot either way, so what to do? Take it one day at a time or better yet one moment.

Silent Screams

I wish I was angry today, but my head aches so that I cannot even open my eyes to type. Many have felt it, few will admit it. I know it well, emotional or physical pain so excruciating that tears escape from my eyes while silent screams scrape the walls of my throat as they come roaring up from the depths of my aching soul only to fall upon deaf ears. Heard they are not, expressed they must be. And so the tears flow, the tiniest sound byte of my screams encased in each poignant droplet cascading down my cheek. They hang, suspended for a brief moment upon my quivering chin before splattering silently onto my t-shirt. There they evaporate as the sounds of my sadness and pain are quietly absorbed. My screams, now entrenched in the cotton fibers are soon to be unceremoniously washed down the drain in my next load of underwear and socks. A brief respite ensues and exhaustion, a welcome relief, brings with it the precious gift of sleep to my weary unopened eyes.